My life, my predicament
I feel the need to get this out in the blog world, but knowing that this is my least read blog, and the fact that in all honesty, it is my most serious blog, it garnered the right to have an entry of this magnitude in it.
I am having a crisis of faith as it were. Well, not so much a crisis as a conflict. I am faced on one hand with a relationship that is really wonderful, with a woman who is beautiful, smart, funny and fun to be around, creative, talented and delightful. This relationship for the most part makes me happy, happier than I have been in a while. It's a very nice thing.
But then on the other hand we have the pressure that has already come to bear, and most likely will continue to be born, on it from my roommates and a good deal of my friends. I don't want to make it sound like I am discounting what they have to say, and not considering it, because I am. They make valid points. And they are talking to me out of love. But a large part of me can't help but feel that they don't really know what they are talking about, and that despite their good intentions, they couldn't be more wrong.
It also doesn't help that my impression (and this may not be the case, it is merely my perception) is that my roommates are being very judgmental and not very open to Lenya. Okay, she's non-Christian. But that to me is not in and of itself a bad thing. Does Lenya have flaws? Yes, but don't we all? I was hanging with a bunch of Lenya's friends last night, and Friday night actually, too. Granted, there were some moments that I did not like (the religious jokes or some of the really overt sexual commentary), but overall I felt very comfortable. These people accept me. I don't know if they know that I am Christian or not, and perhaps that would help to alleviate some of the tension if they for sure knew that, I don't know. But at the very least, we had a good time. We talked about stuff. It's obvious to me for the most part why these people are Lenya's friends. They are nice. They make me want to be their friends, too. And the impression that I get is that they would not mind that themselves.
So what is going on? What does it look like to you? I hope I am not glossing over things to paint a picture that I want you all to see, even though this post is going to be influenced by the way I feel. The way I feel is that the secular and non-secular worlds of my life are clashing, and right now, the secular world is being a lot friendlier. So for those scant few out there that read this, I am pretty positive now that you should be able, without being a Blogger member, to comment. I'll make sure, but I want to hear what you have to say. But in case that doesn't still doesn't work, drop me a line at bknzone@gmail.com. I want to know what you have to say on this, even though I wrote it in the blog of mine that gets the least readership.
I am having a crisis of faith as it were. Well, not so much a crisis as a conflict. I am faced on one hand with a relationship that is really wonderful, with a woman who is beautiful, smart, funny and fun to be around, creative, talented and delightful. This relationship for the most part makes me happy, happier than I have been in a while. It's a very nice thing.
But then on the other hand we have the pressure that has already come to bear, and most likely will continue to be born, on it from my roommates and a good deal of my friends. I don't want to make it sound like I am discounting what they have to say, and not considering it, because I am. They make valid points. And they are talking to me out of love. But a large part of me can't help but feel that they don't really know what they are talking about, and that despite their good intentions, they couldn't be more wrong.
It also doesn't help that my impression (and this may not be the case, it is merely my perception) is that my roommates are being very judgmental and not very open to Lenya. Okay, she's non-Christian. But that to me is not in and of itself a bad thing. Does Lenya have flaws? Yes, but don't we all? I was hanging with a bunch of Lenya's friends last night, and Friday night actually, too. Granted, there were some moments that I did not like (the religious jokes or some of the really overt sexual commentary), but overall I felt very comfortable. These people accept me. I don't know if they know that I am Christian or not, and perhaps that would help to alleviate some of the tension if they for sure knew that, I don't know. But at the very least, we had a good time. We talked about stuff. It's obvious to me for the most part why these people are Lenya's friends. They are nice. They make me want to be their friends, too. And the impression that I get is that they would not mind that themselves.
So what is going on? What does it look like to you? I hope I am not glossing over things to paint a picture that I want you all to see, even though this post is going to be influenced by the way I feel. The way I feel is that the secular and non-secular worlds of my life are clashing, and right now, the secular world is being a lot friendlier. So for those scant few out there that read this, I am pretty positive now that you should be able, without being a Blogger member, to comment. I'll make sure, but I want to hear what you have to say. But in case that doesn't still doesn't work, drop me a line at bknzone@gmail.com. I want to know what you have to say on this, even though I wrote it in the blog of mine that gets the least readership.
posted by Bob. @ 19:47
2 Comments:
Bob, the one thing that stands out here is that Lenya's friends may not know that you are a Christian. So while they accept you, they don't know the whole you. The other part is--are you doing things with them that you wouldn't do with your other friends or thinking things that you wouldn't think with your Christian friends? And is your faith going into a kind of crisis because of it? Where do you see this leading you down the road?
well, i believe that for the most part they do. I have made a point of telling them so.
-Lenya
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