Send in the clones

I just wanted my two readers to know that for the next week I'll be on a retreat and won't be posting. Deal with it.

Mood music

Last week a couple of friends of mine and I finished watching Cowboy Bebop. They had never seen it. I, owning the series, have seen in completely through about 5 times or so now. It is my favorite anime series. It's not just because of the storyline or the characters or anything like that. It also incorporates one of my greatest loves: music.
Before I ever owned the series I invested in a box set of series music with my then fiancee, Crysta, which I thankfully still own today (having bought out her share of the set and burning her a copy). In honor of ending the series, and looking for something to help keep me awake when I drive the distance to Grand Rapids in the early morning, I decided it was time for me to give it a listen again. And I've just been finding it intriguing how the music has fallen in my driving to fit the mood or spirit of what was happening or what was to come. Early Saturday morning on my reluctant drive home to join my family for a trip to Chicago (reluctant because I hadn't slept well and was heavily thinking about skipping the whole thing entirely, though I'm glad I didn't) I was treated to some tracks that seemed like good driving music. On the way back to town that night, I got some jazzy numbers, which fit because I was on my way to the Union to hear some live jazz music with friends. Earlier today I got some calmer tunes to help ease the stress of going in to fill out some paperwork for my new job (calming because I was running late, and the signal work on Westnedge that closed the street down to one lane did not help things). These musical selections were just the way the CDs are laid out, but I find it fun the way things have progressed.
Of course, I have to deal with the sad tunes to come when I drive to work tomorrow morning. But as they also make me reflective, I think all will be okay. I just hope that the flat tire I had today is not an indication of things to come, because I don't want to be listening to "Space Lion" and potentially crying and suddenly have to deal with not having a spare anymore and not making it to work or anything.

Wednesdays been very very good to me

If I had just one last wish
I would like a tasty fish

No, wait, that's not it.

It would seem I'm not a slob
I just got a sales-type job

Or at least that's what's going on before the background check and signing up for insurance certification classes and everything. Needless to say, after dance class I'm getting a celebration Slurpee.

Happy WC Day

I just wanted to make mention of this most wonderful of Bob holidays, WC Day. It stands for "Writer's Company," and today it is 13 years old.
What is the WC? It is a series of stories I first started writing when I was in 8th grade, at a math competition of all things. Naturally, at that age, they weren't shining examples of literary gold, but what began that day has shaped me as a person for about half my life now. It is the only storyline that has continued this long, although I have greatly altered it from life in a publishing company to life in college. The characters are still there, very much the same, but it's based more on my own life, which makes sense, since "I" am one of the main characters. I can't imagine my life without the likes of Will (formerly Bill), Meri (formerly Mary), Jane, Jerry, John, Frank, Richard, Genevieve (formerly Jenny), Misty and so many others. And one day, hopefully many will be able to enjoy their exploits.
I just have to get around to writing them. But I have written a nice 81 1/2 page story for Nanowrimo based on two weeks of their adventures. If you want to read it, feel free to leave a comment with your email address and I'll shoot it your way. (coughcoughshamelessselfpromotioncoughcough)

Why do songs and books fall in love?

So in the wake of my breakup, of course I'm thinking about love. Why wouldn't I? Oh yeah, because it's a painful reminder that I'm alone. No, honestly, I'm not feeling that down in the dumps. But even still, why is it when you don't want to think about something life keeps bombarding you with the issue?
Love. What is love? (Kudos to anyone who had Haddaway start playing in their brains. Minus several million points if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) Why is love so hard to find? This last is a question put forth by one of the songs at Toys R Us. This morning, it had me thinking. Sure, love can be hard to find, and that can be frustrating and cause a lot of annoying emotional maelstroms inside. But then when you find it, isn't it worth it? I mean, the old saying "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before" rings true to me. The happiness of the times I have loved others outweighs any hurt I may have felt over the course of my years.
Driving this home are the books I've been reading lately, borrowed from my friend Emily. (Well, one of the Emilys. I know far too many people with the same name, and this is only one example. Don't get me started on Jo(h)ns.) They are what I guess classifies as Christian fiction, but they are both from the perspective of twenty-something males figuring out a relationship, oddly enough both of which are with a girl whose name starts with "A". And the second book is actually peppered with interesting lines that seem to apply to my experience with love. Nice little tidbits that help to restore some hope. I only wish there wasn't an underlying sense of homophobia or the need to define what a man is really supposed to be like (not talking about feelings, and heaven forbid either of two guys sharing a small tent happen to roll onto the other, lest they get punched by the other). Oh well, nobody's perfect.
And just to make sure everyone knows, and I'm not just saying this: I'm not in love with someone right now, nor is this meant as some sort of hanging desire for Lenya (no offense if you're reading this, Ms. Rapscallion). Seriously. I just wanted to comment. Or Bobble, as the case may be.

Things are on the rise

Interview status: State Farm interview went well, and I will receive by letter how it went probably by next Monday. If I was successful (which I have every reason to believe it did) then I will have a chance to have an interview with hiring management. But that is when there is an opening, which is probably going to happen in the vicinity of the next 30 days, but who can say?
The Banker's Life interview went pretty well also, but it didn't last nearly as long (15 minutes compared to the 45 for State Farm). However, I have already scheduled another interview with the branch manager for Monday at 11 to basically figure out if I am a right fit for them, and they for me.
There are pros and cons to each job. The State Farm one doesn't involve selling anything, which does take a good deal of pressure off, but then again, it doesn't pay as well (though still really decently). The Banker's Life one does involve selling, but it does have the possibility to have me making a good amount of money, perhaps even upwards of double what I could be making at State Farm. I know I should not be making the choice mostly because of money, but since my main goal is to pay off my student loans and to save for grad school, the prospect of being able to make a larger dent in those plans makes me kind of wish I could get the Banker's Life job.
I just know that I have to keep praying on all of this, because I really only want to work at the place that God wants me to work at. I know He has my best happiness, and His greatest glory, in mind. That will be enough for me.
Now if I can just survive the day. It's odd that my one day off this week has already turned into such a stressful one.

One down, one to go

My interview went well today. I still have one tomorrow. I'll let you know in more detail when I'm not trying to get to sleep.

Good news comes in twos

I had cause to expect a call today setting up a second interview with Banker's Life (an insurance company) and at 1 I got it. That interview is on Wednesday at 2. What I didn't expect was to get a call around 5:30 from State Farm saying that they wanted to interview me, tomorrow at 1:15. I am very excited to have two interviews in one week. Both with insurance companies, sure, but they are both different, and if hired at either one, I would get paid decently, and of course, could pay off my student loans before grad school. I like this prospect a lot.

This seems like the place to post this

One of the fun things about having multiple blogs and not wanting to double or triple post (most of the time) is that I get to decide what I want to share in each. Well, it just so happens that this update is tailor-made for this blog, because although I know I have only a few readers probably, those that read this actually know the person in question.
Because last night I got to talk to Jessica online, and it was really cool, even if we didn't stray too far from talk of Japan and the English teachers or the took-really-long-to-cook curry she made. I have missed her a lot, because she was one of the cool people I met in Japan and that made the whole time there a lot better for me. Hopefully we can chat on a semi-regular basis so I can hear even more about Japan...and have rubbed in my face all the oishii stuff she got/continues to get to eat.
My internet popularity continues to grow. Why do I feel like I should be scared?

Existence is futile

It's no fun when I have to spend almost all of my days tired, so I can't really enjoy them. Getting up early for work is no fun, and it usually results in a need for naps, but then the naps tend to make it hard to get to sleep at night, which makes me tired at work, and the cycle continues. Of course, on the few occasions where I can actually sleep in, then I can't get to bed those nights, and the cycle continues there.
Basically what I'm saying is I really hope my second interview goes well with the insurance company so I can get out of this mess. At least until grad school, where I'll be up late studying and writing papers. And loving it.
Now back to no whining.

Not so manic Monday after all

Today has been nice. I started things off in a crappy mood, but thanks to a viewing of some grad programs I'm feeling pretty fine. Nothing like something that makes you really happy and excited to help get your mind off of something that brings you down.
I have an interview on Wednesday. Other job options are out there and I just have to figure some things out. But I'll get there, and then I can work on writing, and spend lots of time at the library reading poetry and classic literature. I am getting into a good grad school and I know God is on my side for this. I just have to figure out which grad school He's got in mind for me.
I have the chance to get a decent night's sleep for once. Wish me luck.

Tear me in two

I apparently have a knack for torturing myself. Except part of the torture is healing. Music has always been a big part of my life, and songs that I love are always going to be tinged with sadness if they remind me of people, which they always will. And sometimes I like to wallow in movies that are likely to depress me. But it has to be a balance in dealing with the emotion and keeping myself distracted so it doesn't overwhelm me. Plus there is the need to reclaim some things that started taking on a more Lenya-ish spin and bring them back to being me. Like wearing ties. Lenya likes ties a lot, and although I can't say I wore them any more regularly than I might have otherwise, over the past few days I have worn shirts and ties as a means of making sure that dressing nicely does not mean I'm going to break down and cry, or think too heavily about Lenya.
At least I have some things that are apart from anything that can make me happy. Like the latest incarnation of Doctor Who which started up recently on Sci-Fi. I have seen 3 of the 4 aired episodes and am enjoying it muchly. So much, in fact, that I have mentioned it in all three of my blogs now. For the 3 or whatever of you out there that read this, I strongly suggest it. Of course, I know that some of you out there are indisposed in other countries, so that's not really possible at the moment. Though the first season of this particular series comes out on DVD in July. If one has to wait that long, I suggest renting it.
It occurs to me that my title for this entry could have a very Horcrux implication to it (always the Harry Potter nut am I). I was merely quoting a song title from Stroke 9, one of my favorite bands. It just fits my mood, because no matter how much I wish I didn't, I still care about Lenya a great deal and it tears my heart in two to think that despite the claim that we are to be friends that I'll never really see much of her again. Alas, Babylon.