Tear me in two

I apparently have a knack for torturing myself. Except part of the torture is healing. Music has always been a big part of my life, and songs that I love are always going to be tinged with sadness if they remind me of people, which they always will. And sometimes I like to wallow in movies that are likely to depress me. But it has to be a balance in dealing with the emotion and keeping myself distracted so it doesn't overwhelm me. Plus there is the need to reclaim some things that started taking on a more Lenya-ish spin and bring them back to being me. Like wearing ties. Lenya likes ties a lot, and although I can't say I wore them any more regularly than I might have otherwise, over the past few days I have worn shirts and ties as a means of making sure that dressing nicely does not mean I'm going to break down and cry, or think too heavily about Lenya.
At least I have some things that are apart from anything that can make me happy. Like the latest incarnation of Doctor Who which started up recently on Sci-Fi. I have seen 3 of the 4 aired episodes and am enjoying it muchly. So much, in fact, that I have mentioned it in all three of my blogs now. For the 3 or whatever of you out there that read this, I strongly suggest it. Of course, I know that some of you out there are indisposed in other countries, so that's not really possible at the moment. Though the first season of this particular series comes out on DVD in July. If one has to wait that long, I suggest renting it.
It occurs to me that my title for this entry could have a very Horcrux implication to it (always the Harry Potter nut am I). I was merely quoting a song title from Stroke 9, one of my favorite bands. It just fits my mood, because no matter how much I wish I didn't, I still care about Lenya a great deal and it tears my heart in two to think that despite the claim that we are to be friends that I'll never really see much of her again. Alas, Babylon.